Loves Golden Spirals

Caterpillars, Chrysalis' and Transformation

2010-04-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know that I have been blessed to have the opportunity for transformation - more than once or twice. After seeing this 9 minute segment of video I'm not sure if I've become a butterfly yet - as a matter of fact I'm thinking there is no way, not yet, ... I'm still moving from one caterpillar life to another. How surprising (but not really) It's all just a mystery isn't it?

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/butterflies/

On a late August morning, just north of Lake Huron, in Canada, a miracle of nature is about to unfold. This tiny caterpillar is destined to become a Monarch butterfly. In one of the most amazing transformations in the animal world, the caterpillar will outgrow and shed its skin four times. The fifth time, the caterpillar disappears. It's transformed into a chrysalis, a delicate case within which a completely new being takes form.

After about 10 days in the chrysalis, the new creature is complete. All traces of the caterpillar are gone, and in its place is a butterfly with four delicate wings.

But the newly developed Monarch butterfly must wait a few hours for its wings to harden, and then, finally, it can fly.

This particular generation of Monarch butterflies is special. Every year, about a hundred million of them begin an astonishing migration. Coming from southern Canada and the northeastern United States, each butterfly, starting on its own, flies about 2,000 miles, arriving two months later in Mexico.

Their trip is part of a carefully timed cycle that began three generations back, when a group of Monarchs left Mexico at the end of the winter. They flew as far north as the Gulf States, mated, and died.

The second generation flew to the northern United States. There, they, too, mated and died, living only about a month. Their offspring, the third generation, completed the last leg of the journey to Canada, also surviving only about a month.

But the fourth generation will live almost nine months. And they'll fly all the way back to Mexico in one epic trip. It's an amazing natural cycle that so far eludes explanation.

The Swing

2010-03-26T13:39:00.000-07:00

He was gently swinging at the end of the ropes.
Eyes shut, relaxed and drifting, he listened to the murmur of
the breeze that sang a lullaby as it swayed him back and forth.
And minutes floated away to the cadence of the swing.

So, Lord, I walk through the city as through a vast county fair,
and see men drifting, blown by the breezes of life.
Some smile, and yield to passing pleasures,
Others with taut faces curse the wind that shakes them
and knocks them into one another.

Lord, I want them to STAND up on their swings,
I want them to grasp the cord that you hold out to them,
I want them to harden their muscles and brace their vigorous
bodies, and STAMP on their lives the direction they have chosen,

For you do not want your sons to drift, but to LIVE!
~ Michel Quoist

I love this prayer - and for some reason I feel that I understand it better after a day on Mt. Elgon in Uganda. A sweet friend, Adam, lost his life there doing what he had found to do - LIVE. So, it was hard to understand or make sense of his death - it wasn't alright. And still, three years later it was/is hard to believe.

I know this - Adam really did "grasp the cord that was held out to him" ... and he did STAMP on his life the direction he had chosen. He LIVED. He lived in Jesus' name.

As Frederick Buechner says "We find by losing. We hold fast by letting go. We become something new by ceasing to be something old. This seems to be close to the heart of that mystery. I know no more now than I ever did about the far side of death as the last letting-go of all, but I begin to know that I do not need to know and that I do not need to be afraid of not knowing. God knows. That is all that matters."

So what does that mean for me? What am I finding? It means that I went to Uganda! It means that I want to lay down my "old self" and become something "new". I want to LIVE the way Adam taught me in his short life. I am finding that renewing my friendship with Ben (one of Adams brothers) is important because Ben has much to teach me. I am finding new friends and relationships that I never expected because I'm trying to grasp the cord held out to me. It means I am trying to lay down my life and be led into a new one - even though I can't see that far ahead. Thanks Adam! May we all find a way to "swing and live"

Kirongo ... and a new name

2010-02-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

Here are a few images (okay, a lot) from Kirongo. A beautiful village about 2 hours from Jinja. Several members were gathered under a tree waiting for our arrival. It was stunning for me to see Catherine (Elijah's wife) get on her knees to greet Ben. But I understand it is a sign of respect. Elijah is the leader of the village or clan. Catherine seemed so happy to see us. When she came to me and knelt I didn't know what to do, so I knelt beside her - and I held her hand and looked into her eyes and tried to express my thanks for her hospitality. Somehow I think we made a connection. She kept my hand and led me to a seat under a huge shade tree. We were told what we would be doing that day. Part of the visit was to get to know Elijah and Kirongo; another part was to do something special through the Mvule project (http://www.kibogroup.org/)

The following picture is of Ben, Elijah and Mark - we were about to sit for chai and continue talking about the day. Abraham (director of the Mvule project is sitting near the entry way)

Now our tour of the village begins, first with coffee beans: (and of course children)

Catherine in the cooking hut

A water well in need of repair

vanilla beans growing on the vine

These next pictures are part of the reason for our trip. Mark and I wanted to honor a very special man - and could think of no better way than planting a Mvule tree for him. Elijah joined as we prayed a blessing over both - the tree and the man.

thanking Abraham for helping us with a very personal gift

Ben and Elijah plant a tree together

Natalie plants her tree with the help of Elijah and Sampson

After touring the village and many gardens for 3 hours we are back under the shade tree. Elijah and some other village leaders have a new name for me - it is Birungi and it means "all is well" "it is very good" This was really something to me because I am always quoting Julian of Norwich "All shall be well, and all SHALL be well, and all manner of things shall be WELL" Sometimes we just have to wonder at life - I love it! Now we are invited in for a meal. Afterward we must say our goodbyes and thank yous - an amazing day.

Catherine and I are saying good bye - such a sweet time

As we were leaving and headed back onto the bumpy road I was thinking of this quote, "The road goes ever on and on, Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow if I can..." JRR Tolkien
I am wondering ... "where am I going" ...

On the way to Kirongo

2010-02-23T02:33:00.000-08:00

The drive to Kirongo (Chir-on-go) seemed like a very long roller coaster ride. The roads were dry - and red Ugandan dust swelled up with every lorry or car that passed. In some places the roads were very narrow - we drove through many villages ... there was a class underway beneath the shade of a big tree - we stopped at some places to look at buildings or a hut and we were almost always swamped by children - children with tattered clothing and beautiful faces - we were the spectacle - the thing that didn't fit the others ... the smiles were a miracle to behold. THEN, later my heart starts questioning will they have water, food, a place to sleep, love, care, education - what is their life really like?

The Jinja Tour

2010-02-18T10:00:00.000-08:00

the Nile - the source of all life - WATER - it bubbles and swirls out of Lake Victoria then flows through Uganda, Sudan and up into Egypt where it empties into the Mediterranean Sea - it is THE SOURCE ... of power, of life for Uganda and so many more

This fishing village was right next to the Jinja Yacht Club on the Nile and it made me think of Jesus calling the disciples to him - come and follow me, I will make you fishers of men - and it was interesting that this small impoverished village was right next to the Yacht Club - such a nice place. Who was called and why - and who followed - something to think about

"Ting-Ting" is a section in town that Ben referred to as the "Detroit" of Jinja - we journied through what seemed a maze of stalls where men were working and re-working scrap metal to sell. Hard work - a stunning place - many wanted their picture taken

The last place we visited I didn't take any pictures - but I didn't need to - I will always remember those images. We went by the Jinja hospital. The buildings seem nice, family members of the sick were gathered in groups on the grounds because there is no one else to care for the patient. I saw two nurses in the building we visited and I guess they are there to change out iv's. It is the family who washes, feeds, and cleans the patient. We've all been to hospitals and we've all visited the sick or those who are loosing hope - but somehow this was different. I can't explain it any better than this. This is a country of many needs. This was a day I will never forget.

I have pages filled in my journal already but I just can't seem to share those words here - but I CAN share a few images. More soon

Uganda: Adam, Ben, Kym and so much more

2010-02-06T18:22:00.001-08:00

These are some of the beautiful reasons I am headed to Uganda. Adam, I pray my path crosses one of yours left 3 years ago. Ben, Kym, Eli, Noah and Bella - what a privilege to work with you and love on you. Bobby and Candice - we're just getting started! The Source Cafe waits - as it has. And the children ... who can resist. All of these things are flooding my heart as we head that way. Just a small glimpse into the lives of our loved ones that we are headed to see. I'm ready to learn ... teach me well!

... Still

2010-02-04T09:17:00.000-08:00

Wasn't this what I was saying the last time I posted MONTHS ago ... this is me - spinning, spiraling and moving in and out of ... transition? Well I still am! Yes, I'm in Michigan now and hey, I've got one foot on the ground and in the midst of an unending whirlwind (kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz) - SOME things slow enough that I can see clearly for a moment - here are a few captured ones:

In the previous months I have found sanctuary in gardening, tomato toast, kayaking, U2, Josh visiting, and sacred spaces that have been life-pausing and life-giving. So you see, I've seen glimpses of a life. Moments that I wouldn't change for anything. Dear ones who look me in the eyes and know who and where I am. At times I've even felt that time past, present and future have all come together at once - especially on the river. I know what I want. I know I want to dance and laugh and and love and suffer (yes? - yes) and be my best self. I'm just not sure what that looks like - but I keep moving and I feel a change is coming. Whatever it may be I want to welcome it and breath it in - let it come. I'm hoping my next post comes to you from Uganda!

Transition

2009-07-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

This is me - right now! There is no better way to say it, share it, word it. This is me - spinning, spiraling and moving in and out of ...

Transition- the transition from school to work; change, passage, move, transformation, conversion, metamorphosis, alteration, handover, changeover; segue, shift, switch, jump, leap, progression; progress, development, evolution, flux.

But, there is a quiet stillness within that tells me I am not alone, God is here, within all of this - what a gift.

Rochester Michigan

2009-06-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

Here we come!!! Rochester is a city in Oakland County in the U.S. state of Michigan and a suburb of Detroit. The population was 10,467 at the 2000 census. The City of Rochester is bordered on the north, south, and west by the City of Rochester Hills.

Rochester has great natural beauty due to the three waterways that surround the city, abundant green space of three parks, and two winding nature trails. Residents can enjoy fishing in the Clinton River or biking along the Paint Creek Trail.

"Rochester", or the "Rochester Area", are often used to describe Rochester, Oakland Township, and Rochester Hills.
_________________________________________________

Mark has been named the director of the Resource Center for Missional Leadership at Rochester College (Equipping Missional Leaders for Faithful Engagement with a Changing World). I believe this is a wonderful fit for Mark's passion and vision for the Church in today's culture. I ask you to join me in prayer for Mark and the College as he seeks to serve in this way. Please see his blog post at http://rcmlrc.ning.com/

On the Road Again - to Michigan

2009-06-14T11:01:00.000-07:00

The photos shown above are of Rochester College in Michigan.

Mark and I have lived in Minnesota for two years now. Mark has been attending Luther Seminary and taking classes towards a PhD in Congregational Mission and Leadership. We have enjoyed the diversity of life, of weather and of community. I believe we have learned to live more simply while we've been here. There is less that we need in this life than perhaps we thought. We've learned many things that I hope we will carry on to the next adventure in this journey called our life.

Though Mark has finished his class work, he has not finished the program. He is in progress - but timing is not always our own is it? We feel that we have been called to move, and work with Rochester College. We will begin our life in Rochester this summer. We are anxious to join the community there and work to help build and sustain this college.

I am thinking there is no one better to introduce you to Rochester College (if you don't already know) than Rubel Shelly,the President of Rochester College. The following are some of his words "Rochester College exists to engage students in a vigorous liberal arts education within a Christian community for a life of study and service. Students in pursuit of high goals, faculty committed to helping them, and genuine Christian community to bind them together in the process - this is what our college is about.

The beating heart of Rochester College is the campus life of students. Young men and women learn not only history, science, and career skills for the business and professional world but life skills about living to reflect the image and glory of God in the world. As lived here, spirituality is hardly drab and monotonous. Following the example of Jesus, it is joyous, relational, and missional. The Savior of the World loved beauty, engaged the words of Holy Scripture, and showed his love for others through unselfish service.

But the focus of the college is not in the past. We are a forward-looking, dream-driven place! With a diverse student body and dedicated faculty, we are pursuing excellence in business and healthcare, teaching and psychology, athletics and the arts - as well as Christian ministry.

The roots of Rochester College are in Churches of Christ, and its branches reach across all denominational lines. We are non-sectarian in our approach and work to build up the Body of Christ in our region and around the world."

Having learned that we need less on this journey, I hope we will be open to what is really important - to do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God. There is more to come -

For Earth Day

2009-04-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

"I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
and the parched ground into springs.
I will put in the desert
the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set pines in the wasteland,
the fir and the cypress together,
so that people may see and know,
may consider and understand,
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
that the Holy One of Israel has created it."

--Isaiah 41:18-20 (NIV)

We are stewards of God's earth, ruling over that which is not ours. "You [God] made humans ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under our feet: All flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas," Ps 8:6-8.

Let us be good stewards of the gifts God has given us. Let us not abuse, abandon, neglect, misuse or take for granted any of these amazing gifts of creation. Amen

I Purpose

2009-04-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

I am struggling a bit - can't sit still. I have weighty things free-floating through my mind. I got things done today - but sheesh, I've got to let go ... tomorrow ... by God's goodness may I find purpose ...

Today I purpose to live

My life will shine
As the morning sings
I walk in liberty
Bound in true dreams
Manifested promises
Chase my forward motion
A covered path before me
The fruits of my hoping
The fruits of my living

Today I purpose to love

My love will speak
With the sound of grace
Merciful within mercy
The works of my faith
Smiles of overflowing
Inspire my giving
Abundance of joy as rain
The fruits of my living

michael john faciane

Musings on Easter and Spring - Past and Present

2009-04-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

"And I, as I am lifted up from the earth, will attract everyone to me and gather them around me." John 12:32

Remember when Jesus told us a grain of wheat must die? "Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over." I love his references to himself and life in terms of soil, grain, seeds, reproduction, new life - gardens.

Jesus tells the disciples they will be sad, but the sadness will develop into gladness." He speaks of giving birth - " When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the pain. The sadness you have right now is similar to that pain, but the coming joy is also similar. When I see you again, you'll be full of joy, and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You'll no longer be so full of questions. ... Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!"

Where is Jesus when Judas brings the Roman soldiers to seize him - in the garden (at night - darkness?).

Buried - in the dark earth - where did the stirring come from? ... from within, because it was God who said, " Let light shine out of darkness." I agree and believe that we are seedlings/clay pots - nothing much to look at because our life here is not about us - it is about letting the light shine out of us - it is about life in Jesus. What does it say in II Corinthians? - For while we live, we are always being given up in death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may be made visible in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you."

Where is Jesus in the midst of my darkness? He is buried in my heart and his light burns bright - and the darkness? ... the darkness can not overcome it!

From Spring 2001 - This is part of a letter written to my cousin Nancy as I was reflecting back on the death of our amazing Aunt Bernice (my mother's oldest sister) on Easter in the spring of 1998.

"Hi Nancy, ... Primavera - 'first green,' ah, the color of happiness? Dylan Thomas wrote, 'The force that through the green fuse drives the flower ...'. When working in the youthful sun, I feel life in the soil of the earth as I prepare for new seedlings. I even feel the green fuse in my own body - do you?

Frances Mays quotes part of a poem by Horace, in Bella Tuscany, that I love,

'In spring the swelling earth aches for seeds of new life.
Lovely the earth in labor, under a nervous west wind.
The fields loosen, a mild wetness lies everywhere.
Confident grows the grass, for the young sun will do no harm.
The shoots of the vine do not fear a southerly storm arising
Or icy rain slanting from heaven under a north wind -
No, bravely they bud now and reveal their leaves.
So it was since the beginning of the world,
Here is the brilliant dawning and pitch of these days.'

And I think YES this is spring, a season that I adore! ... when regeneration of nature explodes everywhere around me, when new surges of energy pulse through my own veins and yet for me and perhaps you as well death is associated with spring and it is a paradox to me. All of life is a series of seasons I suppose. But isn't it odd that I associate the blooming of tulips, lilacs and sweetly scented lilies with death and now with Nancy's (another cousin Nancy) death (2001) I find myself reflecting on this time in the same way.

Isn't it odd what fragments of memory stay? The greenness of Bernice's back garden as I gazed through the glass door in her sun room, feeling almost suspended in the trees and part of life in those trees. ... hanging lilac from Nancy (the cousin now gone) over my head as I slept in Bernice's bedroom and had wonderful dreams and visions. In the midst of death spring came - as it always has and will. Strange how memory can reach around years and reconnect to the place and time where old loves are still intact.

What has grown since that time? From the cold death grip of winter and Bernice's illness came spring breaking the bonds that cannot hold new life. From Bernice's death something new was born - our relationship - and I am so thankful. An amazing gift

Well, back to the beginning; is 'first green' the color of happiness? I'm not sure - perhaps a mixture of pain and joy - in the loosing, something was found - new life - precious life.

I hope you are well - my love to you
Nancy"

in the midst of darkness, there is a stirring, is it life? ... is it light? ... is it love?
yes, yes, yes ... amazingly yes, graciously yes, miraculously yes - amen!

Waiting

2009-04-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

"Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal." -Jesus

"... in spring the swelling earth aches for seeds of new life ..." -Horace

in the darkness, there is a stirring, is it life? ... is it light? ... is it love?

we are waiting

Good Friday

2009-04-10T22:36:00.000-07:00

... into the darkened soil a seed was buried today -

Wage Peace

2009-03-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful prayer ... I was so touched that I wanted to share it. I needed these words today - Do any of you find similar words that touch you in such deep places?

Wage peace with your breath.

Breathe in firemen and rubble,
breathe out whole buildings and flocks of red wing blackbirds.

Breathe in terrorists
and breathe out sleeping children and freshly mown fields.

Breathe in confusion and breathe out maple trees.

Breathe in the fallen and breathe out lifelong friendships intact.

Wage peace with your listening: hearing sirens, pray loud.

Remember your tools: flower seeds, clothes pins, clean rivers.

Make soup.

Play music, memorize the words for thank you in three languages.

Learn to knit, and make a hat.

Think of chaos as dancing raspberries,
imagine grief
as the outbreath of beauty
or the gesture of fish.

Swim for the other side.

Wage peace.

Never has the world seemed so fresh and precious:

Have a cup of tea and rejoice.

Act as if armistice has already arrived.
Celebrate today.

wage peace - judyth hill - september 12, 2001

Seasons and Cycles of Life

2008-11-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

Life moves in seasons or cycles, or so I believe. A breath in and a breath out - a child is born and with that first breath we hear the cry of her voice.

Last week many of us witnessed the movement of an entire life cycle in less than 1 week, beginning to end - and were left feeling struck over the head. What? How can this be? Two beautiful babies were born into "this life." First came Anna Kate (bottom left) a beauty for sure, with pretty red hair. Morgan delivered Maximus 3 days later and he is so handsome. (pictured top right) Yes, a new journey begins ... I can't wait to see what life holds for them.

Then a sweet friend took her last breath (unexpectedly). Cindy exuded life and life abundant. (pictured top left) I can't find any answers for this loss. She wasn't in the "winter" of life. She was here and then she wasn't. What I know for sure is that God's hand is on all three and there is great peace in that. God was with Anna Kate and Maximus as they took their first breath and God was with Cindy when she took her last. Won't it be wonderful if Anna Kate and Maximus can learn to live and love - just as Cindy - wholeheartedly. I believe there are those who come before us to light the way. ... As I am writing this, it just struck me that not only can Cindy live before Anna Kate and Max but for all of us still here. She is with the cloud of witnesses - for her there is peace and sabbath rest.

For us who are left, we wrestle with what is known and unknown. We are left with God - who is all and in all - who is LOVE. We can mourn and grieve and call out to him. We may hear him answer and we may not hear anything but our own breath. This makes me think about the day my father died - also Linda's birthday. I can't recall if I heard the Fathers voice but something in me told me it was alright. In a way it makes an odd sense. Birth, life, and an ending of one - all on the same date. It happens every day I'm sure. But for me when October 22 comes I not only celebrate Linda's life but I reflect on my fathers and I'm thankful for his life here and that he has moved on ahead.

Audra Mae sings this version (though the acapella version is the one I wanted to use) of the song "Forever Young" that I want to dedicate to Anna Kate, Maximus and Cindy - the words ring true and stand strong.

Peace my dear friends, and most of all - love.

For Those Who Came Before

2008-11-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

For those who don't know me, first and formost I am a child of God. I am not a "political activist." Mostly I don't like politics - politics is messy and can change people. But the following words (which are many, but worthy of reading) are here in dedication to some others who have come and gone in this life. This post is for those I've loved and lost who did not see November 4, 2008 in their lives. This is especially for Maxine and Vivian; for Nancy Zorena, Ivy Zoe, Bernice Mae and those who worked for my father's family. This is for those who had a dream, and did not give it up. This is for those who struggled through - and showed US that we can as well. I may not realize all of my dreams in my lifetime - but it does not mean they will not come or be fulfilled. Hold fast to your dreams.

From President Elect Barak Obama
"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. ... It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day. ... It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America. ...The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there. There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem. ... above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand. ... And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope. That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow. ...This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old. She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons — because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin. And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can. At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can. When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can. When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can. She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can. A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can. America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made? This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

From one of my favorite poets:
As I Grew Older
It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun--
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky--
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!
Langston Hughes

A brief excerpt from Martin Luther Kings speech "I Have Dream"
"... Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends. ... And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. ... I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." ... I have a dream today! ... I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. ...I have a dream today! ... I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together." ... This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with. ... With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

A Story From a Young Girl

2008-11-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

There she was, dark hair, big eyes, some teased her about her skinny legs - she loved to skip and twirl and play outside. But there was much more to her than these things. Her fathers' family came from the deep South (Alabama and Georgia) and her mother grew up in Harlingen Texas - her mother came from an impoverished family. The girl's family lived in Dallas Texas.

Her father was the oldest of six children and quite a bit older than her mother (the youngest of six). When her father was growing up in Alabama, he told his daughter that the family had a "mammy". Well, the daughter really couldn't understand that and why would the family want to have one?

Every summer the family took a trip back south to visit relatives - often the girl's grandparents would come along. One trip the family stopped to see her grandmother's sister. Lurline was her name. Well, her great aunt, Lurline, had a "mammy" (an African American woman) and the girl followed her around the house, talking and asking questions. The mammy prepared lunch for the visiting family and set the table. The table was lovely, the food looked so good, and they sat down to say a prayer. But, before that happened - mammy left the room. The young girl was puzzled and after the prayer asked why mammy wasn't sitting down to eat with the family. The girl was told in no uncertain terms that it was not appropriate for her to eat with the rest; she would eat in the kitchen. The young girl was so upset, she left the table and told her family she would not eat with them and went flying through the swinging door to the kitchen and asked if she could eat there with the sweet woman who had spent the day with her.

This young girl heard stories from her father that African Americans were to serve the "white" people. This didn't seem right but when a parent says something, a child tends to believe him or her. On the other hand, the girls mother included her in trips to "West Dallas" where there were tenements for the poor. Sometimes they packed up grocery bags of food to take to different families, families the girl had never seen before. Many of them were African American - the girl thought this was wonderful that her family could help - but after her father found out he didn't want the mother and daughter to go there anymore - it would be dangerous. Dangerous? The girl had seen how humbled the families were to have help. The girl wondered if the mother understood about being poor and maybe about sharing her life with others who looked different.

The girl cried when Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy were killed. She cried when she saw what was happening in Selma Alabama and other places in the South. She couldn't understand why the color of someones skin made them different or valued less than others. Martin Luther King was a preacher and a man of peace. Bobby Kennedy was a champion for Civil Rights - why was there so much hatred?

Some years passed and the girls mother died at a young age. Now it was the girl who had to figure out what was right and wrong for herself. Oh, her father loved her - and maybe loved her too much; wanting to protect her from everything - especially if she had different ideas about life than he did. She was called "queer" and "odd" and she'd argue with her father about some of his ideas. As she grew she felt very bad for believing some of the things her father had taught her.

She deeply loved the African American women and men who were in her life. After her mother died - she listened to the women especially, they taught her about what real life was and wasn't. She wanted the world to change. She began to have hopes and dreams -

On November 4, she witnessed a dream come true, she watched with tears in her eyes as President-elect Barack Obama spoke to thousands about the change that has come, and that some dreams have now been realized, and with hope we can come together as a country to become one nation. Wow, she never knew this would come in her lifetime. It is here and she finds herself thinking about the African American men and women who have been part of her life and is so thankful to them for loving her and caring for her. And - she hopes she loved them well.

As you may have guessed - the young girl was me. The story was easier to tell in third person. Sometimes it is hard to share things about yourself. But, I am so very thankful for this time - November 4, 2008 will be an important day for me the rest of my life. Looking back now, I believe it was the culture that my father had grown up in that gave him his beliefs - it didn't make him right - it just seemed to be the explanation. I believe he sought forgiveness and learned what real hope was before he died. I am thankful to both of my parents for doing their best and sharing their faith in God with me. I think this is a beginning and I pray that as time goes by we will see more changes come our way -

I want to share part of one of my favorite songs these days
"What Are We Fighting For"

Oh my Lord
I have a dream
Oh my Lord
One day we'll see
Oh my Lord
All men be free
Oh my Lord
I still believe

People let's love one another, we're sisters and brothers
What are we fighting for?
Too many backs that are breaking, lives being taken
What are we killing for?
I think it's time for forgiveness, to rise up and end this
What are we waiting for?
Love teach us the way, to overcome hate
And weapons of war.

Singer, Tyrone Wells

Borrowed Words

2008-10-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday during worship the chorus sang the words to the "Prayer for Peace of Saint Francis of Assisi". These words are not my own - but they need to be shared, especially now it seems. May you find blessing in them:

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

The Last Word

2008-10-08T22:28:00.000-07:00

Our son Josh was here this past weekend. We hadn't seen him since May. It was sheer joy to look upon his face, to see the love in his heart and to listen to his stories and dreams. I have missed him terribly. I know I've been very fortunate to live in the same town as our son the past six years, but now Mark and I are off on one journey and Josh another. It's right - it's how it should be. He is not "mine" - he is a gift!

Josh and I spent Monday looking through used book stores and walking the streets of St. Paul. In one store I bought a book of stories told by Mother Teresa. I love reading about her, and how she chose to live and love. I hope to love the same way one day. As I was reading the following story I thought of Josh who is seeking to live a life of LOVE and how as a parent I need/want to give him away every day:

The Last Word
In Japan, as elsewhere in the world, Mother Teresa spoke about the vocation of hundreds of young women who left their homes and joined her Order. This thought may have been uppermost in Mr Hideki Izumi's mind when he asked her a question about her family.

Mr Izumi began by telling Mother that he had two daughters, one aged eight years and the other thirteen, and that he would be very unhappy if one of them entered religious life.

Mother said, "A vocation is not the work of human hands. A vocation is between God and your daughters ...' and added, 'If you have two, you must pray that God will call one of your daughters to belong to Him. That is the greatest gift of God to a family ... if God calls your son or daughter to come to His service you are blessed.'

Knowing what was passing through the gentleman's mind, Mother smiled at him and said, 'God always hears my prayers.'

Mr Izumi exclaimed, 'Oh! That would be the destruction of my family!'

Mother continued smiling and gently teased him: 'You will be able to come to Calcutta then, to meet her!'

Mr. Izumi was not amused and kept repeating that it would be the cause of great disunity in his family. He said, 'I find it hard to imagine a family that would be happy to have their daughter enter religious life,' and popped his question: 'I would like to know what kind of a family your own family was.'

Mother replied, 'I had a very happy family. And it was very difficult for my mother to give me, but she did. This is the sacrifice. Say, if your daughter gets married and goes away, you will have to give your daughter all the same. So, instead of giving her to somebody, you give her to God. This is the difference. We have in our Congregation thirty-five nationalities. We are over two thousand Sisters.'

With a twinkle in her loving blue eyes she had the last word, 'So, two thousand and one!"

Mark and I are blessed!

Brandi Carlile, with a side of Norse curds and lingonberry sauce, please!

2008-08-28T11:47:00.001-07:00

"All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
it's true, I was made for you" ...
Brandi Carlile

Mark and I talked about going to the Minnesota State Fair. The Fairgrounds opened last week and are just a few blocks from Luther Seminary. Every night, long after the sun has set, I hear fireworks ending the fun for the day. There's just something about a State Fair to introduce you to your new home. So, we planned to go.

I was looking forward to going this past Monday - but alas, it was not to be - not this week anyway. Brandi Carlile was singing in the Bandstand that night - I love this petite big voiced rock and roller! She is quite talented - and a gifted writer. One of my favorite songs of hers is "The Story" and it seems fitting to insert a few lines here on my blog considering how I see life as story. So, the story for Monday changed ... instead of hearing Brandi Carlile I was stuck in the apartment with a HUGE headache. I was dreaming of Norwegian cheese curds with lingonberry sauce - but settled for weak Rooibos tea. The Norse curds sound absolutely wonderful and I can't wait to take my first bite ... savoring the salty and sweet flavors mingled together. I've been told everyone needs to try curds! And knowing myself - I will love them!

Today the headache is better, and that gives me hope that perhaps next week I may try "curds" for the first time. I also hope to hear Brandi for myself another time. But today, I loved hearing Mark tell me about her and all the sights and sounds - it meant so much to hear his story of the day.